She Flies by Dawn Leslie Lenz

Description:

Nora is sure about only one thing in her life--that she wants it to end. The rest is chaos to her confused, hurting mind. With her sexuality in question, her marriage in shambles and her spirit breaking, Nora must make the choice between a life she desires and a life she knows--or sacrifice them both in the ultimate ending of it all. A short story.

Excerpt:

Nora went to Florida to kill herself. That, at least, she knew for sure. As for everything else, it was a big, screaming, ugly haze that squeezed itself into her head, kept her awake at night and made her wander her apartment, helpless. Gabriel worried about her. He asked, “Are you all right, Nora?” each time she lifted wearily from the bed to find something to put her to sleep. Each time she whispered, “Yes,” it was a lie. So, she got on a plane and flew to Miami, away from St. Louis, her husband, her desire and her crushing despondence.

She dressed in black her first morning out. Black skirt, black tank top, black shoes, black eye makeup and her wedding ring. Before she left her room, she slid the simple gold band onto her finger and pressed it to her chest. Gabriel’s band matched. They had picked them out together, preferring the simplicity of the solid bands with a single diamond to the complicated jewel-laden rings that filled most jewelry cases. They liked so many of the same things. Simple. Sophisticated. Modern. All things international. Travel. Theatre. Food. It was only recently that Nora decided to be vegetarian. She was three weeks strong. She got rid of meat and added cigarettes. Two unorthodox choices that grated like sandpaper between her and Gabriel.

“So, you’re never going to eat meat again? Ever?” Gabriel asked.

“We’ll see,” she replied. “I still eat fish,” she told him.

Of her new smoking habit, he said, “I don’t want anyone I love to die before me.”

Nora was silent.